Things To Teach My Son

Hey all- I've been awful at blogging. I would love to blame it on my crazy busy life- raising a 4 year old; running a business and getting married has kept me busy. Honestly though it's just been a lack of inspiration. But I am here with a big announcement and a lot of inspiration for new posts!

I am pregnant and having a baby boy! TBH when I found out it was a boy I had a night of crying and pouting. Don't judge me- I'm super excited now and love this little boy SO MUCH it's crazy and he's like the size of an avocado; but I mean H-E-L-L-O I love glitter and tulle and bows. I had pins for days of little girl dresses and pink floral accents and I HAD DREAMS. I had to get my head around this change of plans really quickly because Hi- Nicole- you're not in charge; the universe is.

I had to make new dreams and I am now so excited to be having a little boy because I've realized some amazing things I get to teach him.

1. To respect women~ I don't just mean saying "ma'am" and doing the whole polite thing. I mean REALLY respecting women and not using them as a means to feel better about himself or create a more masculine persona by degrading and belittling them. That when you are talking to someone all the time and physical with someone you ARE in a relationship and holding that persons heart in your hands and that is a huge responsibility and it takes respect and tenderness to be worthy of that.

2. Consent is EVERYTHING~ No parent raises a child to be a rapist; I think it happens by avoiding the conversation that consent is vital in any sexual relationship. I mean sure it's awkward but I can't wait to teach my son the importance of this- that alcohol is a drug and the biggest date rape drug at that. That consent looks like two people saying yes and if ever there is a question if his partner is capable of consent the answer is always NO he/she isn't.

3. To be an active bystander~ To respect people and know consent is important is awesome but so many times we've all experienced hate and never spoken up. I hope to give my son the courage and security he needs to always be able to watch someone- ANYONE being oppressed and have the ability to say it isn't okay. To practice tenderness and love for his fellow man and always be courageous. Those men who saw that girl being raped in the Stanford rape case and did something about it are perfect examples of the sort of man I hope to raise my son to be. It takes bravery to defend those who can't defend themselves.

4. He is loved and accepted~ Whether he wants to play with Barbies, take tap dance classes or shoot guns. He is loved and valued as long as he is being authentically himself. I want my son to know my love is unconditional and whether my dreams for him line up with who he actually becomes or not; I will love and accept him because unconditional love is the most powerful tool a parent has.


" To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo Emerson

5. Being a parent is a responsibility~ I am so grateful my son will have his Daddy as his role model. He is an active parent- he does the laundry- the dishes and helps at bath time. I know I'm lucky. Being a parent is a life long responsibility for TWO people and being an active parent is vital in helping to keep a relationship healthy. Resentment grows quickly when one parent has the burden of all the responsibility. Having a child is not only the females responsibility and "watching" your child isn't babysitting it's parenting.

I am sure as I evolve and grow these things will change and evolve- what things do you want to teach your sons?

More posts to come soon! Including why the first trimester sucks.