Creating body in fine hair

Hello beauties!! I'm so excited to share some new techniques I've been playing with for my clients with finer, thinner hair. I was lucky enough to attend a great cutting class with Donald Scott company recently and one of the many things we discussed was creating width and body in hair. Very regularly I will have my clients with thinner hair asking for layers to create volume. The reality of layers is that it removes weight and actually creates less body in your hair. Have you ever noticed in your own hair or someone else's that it will look like they have ends you can almost see through? This is because for their hair type they have too many layers and its removed so much weight it now looks like they have even less hair.

To create the illusion of fuller hair I am really recommending my layer addicted clients step away from removing hair and begin growing the layers out for a more blunt cut. This does not mean the cut has to be so blunt it has no shape, there is an in between. I've been doing more blunt bobs and lobs on my finer clients with texture at the ends to create body and movement but it's also adding width and volume to the hair.

Here is a great example, my beautiful client here had a lot of layers and it made her hair appear thin and pretty lifeless.

She took a risk and trusted me, we cut off several inches of her length and used a razor to texturize her ends in a blunt bob. I left her entire crown out but underneath her crown went in and did very light layering in the underneath part of her hair to give a little push up. 

We also changed her base color per her request and the entire makeover is absolutely stunning.

Now you may be looking at this and say ok, well it's curled and whenever you curl hair it looks like it has more volume... So here is a picture of it straight several weeks later. It's growing out beautifully. 

If you have fine hair and are desperately holding onto the last bit of length you have I strongly suggest taking the plunge and cutting it off. Working on growing out your layers and creating more volume and body will really help change what you can do with your hair. It will give you and your stylist a great starting point to help you get to where you want to be. There is nothing worst in this industry than feeling like you are handcuffed and can't do what's best for your client, because they won't let you. If you have a stylist you don't trust, start looking elsewhere. I am taking new clients ;-) 

If you do have a more blunt cut and still feel it's lifeless and thin look at your products, unfortunately very few of us have hair that is actually perfect without product and styling. A stylist can give you the most amazing cut but if you aren't willing to put a little work in with quality products and a blow drier it won't matter. 

Protect your investment, ask your stylist for tips on styling, I always take extra time to help my clients learn the best products for their hair and extra tips and tricks to curling etc. I want you to feel beautiful always not just the day you leave my salon. 

It takes practice to get the hang of it but once you do styling can be quick and easy. My bestie now can curl her whole head in a good 10 minutes; she can't even apply mascara so trust me if she can do it you can too!

Try it my way, if it doesn't work you can easily add layers back in. 

Later beauties 

Behind the Lens: Moroccanoil Academy

This is a picture heavy post!

Last week I was lucky enough to spend 3 days in New York City with Moroccanoil. I was able to work behind the scenes on an editorial shoot hosted by Moroccanoil. Below are a few of the behind the scenes images.

I had an amazing time working with our gorgeous model Bella Banos and photographer Anthony Friend. These are not professional images, just a sneak peek of what's to come!

I hope everyone has a blessed day!

Gastric Sleeve Surgery

I had the surgery yesterday 5-19-2015

Nothing could prepare me for the amount of gas pain I have. It's at times excruciating. I feel like I cannot breathe it hurts so bad.

I am trying so hard to remember why I made this choice. It's for a better, healthier future but the pain makes it hard in the moment. 

Yesterday I threw up blood and it felt like my insides were ripping in half. I just never want to experience anything like that again. 

The reason I am writing all of this is because I know in a few months when I am feeling better and "normal" I will want to eat. You see I didn't get in this position because I eat healthy. Food has been a friend and foe. I need to have this in writing so I can remember why I never want to experience this ever again. 

This is an opportunity to reset my body and my metabolism. The surgery does this for me. I need to do the work on my mind to make sure I never use food the same way again and don't get myself in the same situation. 

I have this image in my head of me as a balloon. When you first try to blow up a new balloon it's tough, it takes time, it needs to stretch. However once it's been blown up and is stretched its incredibly easy to blow it up again. I sort of think that applies to a lot of weight loss too. Like it's easy to get back to old habits and blow up the balloon again. 

I am determined to do something different. 

Liver Shrinking Diet Week 3

I won't lie, I didn't really write something for everyday this week. But I will fill you in on the days important things happened. Mostly it was a pretty good week.

Wednesday: I tried cauliflower mash for the first time, it was literally delicious. I may have used a little too much cheese :-/ cheese wasn't mentioned that much on the Liver Shrinking Diet so I'm not totally sure if it's okay or not. I would guess it's probably not something you're suppose to have a lot of. Oops but yummmm 

Thursday: I haven't lost any weight in like 2 days. So annoying. These little stalls in the past are when I just go crazy and say screw it and eat whatever I want. But I'm not doing it. I'm sticking to my plan. I'm eating less food, I use to use every one of my snacks but I'm not anymore. Not because I'm trying to starve myself but I just don't feel as hungry.  Pickles are my new favorite things though.

Friday: I have my last surgeon appointment. I also have blood work done and the bruises to prove it. 

The Dr. Seems super happy with my results my blood pressure was legit perfecto 120/70 it had started to get high which was making me anxious but eating differently is definitely helping. 

I have lost 18 lbs according to my last weigh in at the Dr. They're very pleased with the results. (I was wearing a boot however on my foot when I got weighed in last time so honestly that number is a little questionable to me) but hey I'll accept an 18 lbs weight loss gladly!! 

We discussed the different surgeries to verify this is the best one for me. He thinks this will work fine if I can commit to a lifestyle change... hell i'm doing counseling for a reason. I need to get to a different place with food. It's fuel not my friend. 

Saturday: I make a more "basic" meal and stick to what I am suppose to do. My besties come over to watch a movie it's hard for me not to eat popcorn. Maybe I'll try some "popped cauliflower" but it's too much work, so I eat a pickle. 

Sunday: Hello Mothers Day... This is a tough day for me. You see food has always been a part of celebrations for me. I want to eat, I want to go out to eat. To a restauraunt. But we don't. Instead Chris makes me a no noodle lasagna. We use fat free cheese which btw is totally grow. It doesn't really melt it's kinda like plastic. It clumps together and comes off all at once. Meh.

My friend reminds me I should stick to basics I am SO close to the actual surgery date I don't wanna mess anything up. Sigh... She is right. 

Monday: I start taking fiber, I can't errr ya know. I would guess it's 1. From cheese or 2. From barely eating food. 

I finally go to the potty (can you tell I live with a three year old?) 

I eat a basic dinner again. Nothing fancy! Spaghetti squash and ground turkey. 

I still haven't lost weight in days.

Tuesday (5-12-2015) starting on my last week. Step on the scale. I'm down two more pounds so according to the drs calculations that's 20 lbs! 20 lbs in 3 weeks 

Okay okay maybe all the cheese was stalling me out. Damn. I just want cheesy melty  goodness. 

Want to know something funny? I hate cheese, I always have. Well until now I guess. 

I am one week away from surgery!!! Until next time dear readers :-*

Double braid style

Happy Wedensday! Today I have a cute and easy how to on this simple braided style. 

I am growing my hair out for the wedding and honestly I'm at the terrible length where it just flips out and I look very "Mary Tyler Moore". This results in me wearing my hair back in a ponytail A LOT! 

Sometimes though I get tired of that look and want to jazz it up a little. I did this little "updo" in less than  10 minutes this morning. 

To start I parted my hair like normal. I started on the section with the most hair. I left the hair around my hairline out completely and began braiding only pulling more from the top part of my hair. This is similar to a French braid but leaves a more relaxed final product. 

I then braided the smaller section around my hairline and brought that back with the braid and pinned it all in place.

Working on the other side of my head I did the same braiding technique and pinned next to the other braids. 

I rolled the remaining hair at my nape up and pinned. 

It was a simple way to jazz up wearing my hair back! 

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Sometimes it's hard to describe the process! 

Liver Shrinking Diet: Week 2

Day 8: I am feeling okay today, I remembered I had some shakes from the Dr office I haven't tried yet so I decided to give it a whirl. Honestly these are def the best shakes I've had so far! 

Biggest lesson learned today, make sure that the lid is closed on your blender bottle prior to shaking! Evidence below! 

Oops. 

Day 9: I am sleepy today but feeling okay. 

I have lost 11 pounds now and that's pretty exciting! I really wanted to eat more ground turkey than I was allowed tonight but I didn't. Chris (my fiancé) has been a huge support, he told me not to do it and I somehow listened. Progress my friends, progress. 

Day 10: today I had a class with the nutritionist. Basically about what we can or cannot eat. It's nice to know what is coming but I'm also terrified. It's just so hard to imagine not eating food for 2-weeks after the surgery. Oh well I'll survive.

Day 11: they have us email people as a part of this surgery, to hear people's experiences who have done it before. It literally scares the crap out of me. Some of the responses are just not what I expected in terms of weight loss. Like I was expecting people to have lost a significant more than some have. I become terrified I'm making a wrong choice, that this is the wrong surgery. 

I am trying to remember we are all on our own path and that someone else's success does not dictate my own. 

Day 12: tonight was my besties birthday. I seriously had a hard night just not feeling "normal". Like everyone else was able to eat and enjoy themselves and I couldn't. Everything has to get measured and weighed etc. I know this is temporary but it didn't stop the tears. My friends are an amazing support though. I am lucky.

Day 13: tonight was another celebration and I never like cake, seriously I'm not a sweet person I am such a savory, salty person. However just not being "allowed" it makes me want it SO bad. It's like that childlike part of me that just wants to scream and pout because I am in control. I step back though and remember I AM in control. I'm making a choice to live a healthier life. When I give myself everything I want I have no control, it's how I got to where I am. 

Again knowing this doesn't stop the tears, the large drop off your face hiccup tears. 

Day 14: I wanted to cheat so bad today. Chris and I went on a random little road trip and I just wanted some fried chicken. I didn't though because what I know about me more than anything is one is never enough. I would cheat tonight and I could see myself headed into surgery without having done the work I needed to do. Today was hard but definitely a success.

This week was super emotional, I just felt sad a lot and like I was wanting and craving. The emotional work here is really the work that needs to be done. I am grateful for my support network and people who rally for me. 

This week I lost 3 lbs so I'm down 13 total. It felt a little discouraging at first to go from 10 lbs one week to 3 the next. However I'm trying to remember this is not a race and 13 lbs is a lot in 2 weeks.

Until next week reader!

Liver shrinking diet: Week 1

Day 1: I'm at a training for work, a bridal makeup class, something I should love but instead I literally want to punch everyone around me. I started this god aweful diet this morning, I am immediately questioning my ability to do this. I am starving and not only am I hungry but I don't feel good. My head pounds with every step I take and the thought of not being able to fix this with a bite of chicken or something instantly makes me feel powerless in a way I haven't before.

During lunch everyone goes out to socialize and I stay behind because I am quite sure I cannot sit there drinking the most disgusting protein shake watching people eat. I just don't have the will power, although I suppose that's what has me in this situation in the first place.

During the drive home it's now been 6 hours since I had my last shake (I didn't think I would be out as long as I was) I literally think I'm going to die. I'm dizzy and so naseaus.  I call people in my network sobbing, I can't believe I have let myself and my body get so out of control that I have to go to such extremes to get healthy again.

I run to the store and buy a chicken bc I am allowed (thankfully) one "meal".

I carefully measure my 3 oz of skinless flavorless chicken and I swear to you as that touched my lips I almost cried. Nothing ever tasted as good as that chicken did.

I fell asleep at like 7 pm but hell I survived the day. 1 terrible no good very bad day.

Day 2: I slept for like 10 maybe 11 hours and I actually feel good today! I'm back in the salon and I am busy with clients. I start my day with my shake... It's the second day and already I'm a little less than enthused about this. Whatever I'm not sick, dizzy and everything else so we will just go with it.

I enjoy the same meal as yesterday and go to bed around 11:30pmb or 12:00 am

I didn't just survive the day I had a GOOD day. I feel excited like maybe there is hope!

Day 3: I wake up hungry, I mean really hungry. My stomach is growling and I feel naseaus as hell. F#%* I dunno how I'll survive today. Why do I feel like this again? I drink my shake and actually feel more sick to my stomach.

I am busy in the salon today and I eat my yogurt late maybe around 2 pm. I know I won't be home until 8:30-9:00 tonight so I try to hold off on my second shake until around 6:00 pm.

I choke down the shake and make it home a little after 9. I decided to mix it up tonight and I cook some lean ground beef. I eat 3 oz. of that and 1/2 cup of bean sprouts. I don't feel satisfied necessarily in any emotional way but my body stops screaming at me so that's good.

Day 4: I have an appointment today with the nutritionist, hopefully to get some clarification on what I can and cannot eat because I do not feel like I can do this for one month. Dear reader you may read this and think I am weak but I am struggling, I feel like I'm treading water and I'm just hoping I don't drown. 

I miss the appointment, I ran late with a client and I am going to be 15 minutes late for my appointment. They won't let me come if I'm more than 10 minutes late. I called the office crying, begging, pleading. 

The nutrionist calls me she is kind but I feel stupid I start crying again. I tell her that I sick, weak, dizzy. She said that means I am doing it right. I want to crawl in a hole. She said it's okay if I go a little over on my veggies. I need to be between 600-800 calories a day and I really have to watch my sugars.

I eat 3.8 oz of lean ground beef, I know I know it's suppose to be 3 oz but I REALLY needed to feel the meat between my teeth, to actually chew. 

I go to bed. And I sleep and sleep and sleep. 

Day 5: The protein shakes are making me sick to my stomach. I can barely choke them down. I go to GNC hoping to find something that won't make me gag. I buy quest peanut butter shake. It does not taste like peanut butter. I also try isopure mango peach. It's okay but at least it isn't thick and creamy and making me vomit in my mouth. 

It's day 5 and I have 25 more to go. Please punch me. 

I ate 1/2 a cup of spaghetti squash with 1/4 cup of tomato sauce and 3.8 oz of ground beef. Okay okay don't yell at me I know I shouldn't eat more than I am allowed but seriously I'm dying over here.  My total calories for the day: 650.

I might have my cup of yogurt I'm allowed as a "dessert" it would bring me to 735 calories for the day.

I think I am still doing okay. I'm in the range. 

Day 6: it's prom today and the salon is slammed. I love it! But I made a mistake and didn't drink my shake before I left, it's 1:30 before get any calories into my system and I am seriously starting to fade at that point. It's very clear I need to be on top of that, I guess it makes sense. I'm consuming so few calories that I really can't "wait" to take any in. 

My whole day is sorta screwy with food. By the time I get home it's almost 6 and I haven't had my "lunch" shake yet. I drink my shake, oh btw I find a shake combo that doesn't make me pukie finally! Half chocolate and half peanut butter. 

At around 7:30 Chris (my fiancé) brings me home chicken. So for dinner I eat chicken (skinless and boneless) and 1/2 a cup of green beans. 

I get really hungry around 10:30 and I eat a pickle. I don't know if it's allowed, it's not listed on the veggies I can eat BUT it has nothing in it. No carbs, no calories so I don't feel too guilty. I guess I could have eaten my 10 carrots I'm allowed but that's sorta boring. 

I'm proud of myself though bc I only ate 1 pickle and not 10. I reallllly wanted more! 

Day 7: it's been one whole week and I am down 10 lbs. it's pretty exciting mostly bc I know I will never see those 10 lbs. again. In the past when I've crash dieted I've always put it back on plus some. But at the end of this will come a surgery that will assure if I do it as laid out I will never see this weight again.

I'm so excited at the idea of living a healthier life without the risk of obesity related diseases.

Til next time reader! I hope you have a blessed day.

What does it take to be "beautiful"?

For years this question has plagued me, I have never really felt "good enough". Never satisfied with who I am or what I am bringing to the table. This self loathing began at an early age, I learned early on that in order to be "beautiful" you had to be thin. I've always been bigger, when I was younger I wasn't fat by any means but I was never just thin. I always had muscle, I was very active in my youth; soccer, cheerleading, track. I longed to be naturally thin and in doing so I began to purge my food.

This desire to be thin and "perfect" brought me to dark places. In the past few weeks especially I've really begun to take a hard look at myself and what beautiful means. Nearing 30 I am beginning to look at my body as less of an object and more as a machine. My body is the machine that keeps my spirit and life running. It's goal is not to please others or be sexy or beautiful. It's goal is one thing, to keep me alive.

I've gained a substancial amount of weight in the past 7 years. It hasn't been a quick process but has surely been one that feels like it's crept up on me. I am at my highest weight ever and with a bmi of over 45 I am my most unhealthy. My younger, former self would have beat myself up for not being pretty enough or living up to societies standards. Today however I just want to get my life back.

 My life as an obese women has meant that I am constantly aware. I am always aware of my surroundings. "Can I fit between those two chairs or do I need to walk around the room to get by" "Will the airplane seat belts fit or will I need to pretend to be buckled". These concerns are with me everywhere. I have lost the ability to enjoy my life as I use to. Hiking, canoeing, dancing...the list continues.

So to get back to the original question and purpose of this blog which asks "what does it take to be 'beautiful'"? I have come to find the answer is to be happy. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is genuinely happy and living her life the way she wants to.

I have made the decision to get happy with me. I am making big changes in the upcoming weeks to really address my weight for what it is; a health issue, NOT a pretty issue.

What do you think beautiful means?

Reverse Resolutions 2015

New Years is always a time I love. Sure it's just another day, but it symbolizes so much more. It's a time for people to get quiet with themselves and look at their lives. What do I want to change? What do I LOVE about my life? This year instead of adding a bunch of things to my life (i.e "I want to work out 3 times a week.") I want to remove the negative. So I asked myself...what are the things in my life I can give up to make me a happier and more fulfilled woman? 

I found 5 not so nice habits I want to give up that I will share with you.

1. Stop calling myself fat- I have a defense mechanism my friends have pointed out that really doesn't serve me well. I make jokes about my weight, thinking if I make fun of it then you won't have to make fun of it. This year I want to give this up and stop calling myself fat as a means to "protect" myself somehow.

2. Stop being late because I am too obsessed with what my makeup looks like- I have a tendency to spend an hr + doing my makeup, if I fail to account for this time I am late meeting friends etc. This year I want to commit to not being late for memories and moments because I am too insecure or obsessed with makeup to not leave the house without blush on. Time is really the most precious gift of all, so I need to commit my time to the people I love and show up for it!

3. Stop expressing every insecurity to my partner- If you haven't gathered from the previous 2 resolutions I am a fairly insecure person at times. I also can have word vomit and every fear, anxiety or feeling I feel I express to my partner. Of course sharing our feelings is an important part of a relationship but coping with feelings as an adult is equally important. This year I really want to commit to not word vomiting my fears and feelings to Chris. I suspect this will result in more laughter and love in our relationship (even though there is plenty of it already, who can't use more). He can't cure my fears or take away my worries so expecting him to do such is setting him and I up for failure as a couple.

4.  Stop comparing myself to everyone else- This one is so deeply engrained it may be harder to actually do than it sounds, but I am putting the intention out to the universe that this year I want to stop comparing. I constantly am looking outside of myself at what others have and where I "should" be. I see other women my age living a different life than I do, owning homes, buying new cars, having a 2nd or 3rd child and I can begin to think I am not "doing enough". I start to feel less than, comparing myself to others outsides (aka what they show the world, not necessarily how they really feel) does nothing for me as a person. This year I want to give up my addiction to comparison and just embrace and love the life I have chosen to create for myself.

5. Stop beating myself up for being human- I am human, the person behind this computer bleeds, cries and laughs like every other human in the world. Additionally I stumble, fall and at times don't live up to my own expectations. I can be so hard on myself I hurt this human by tearing her down. This year I want to accept those flaws without judgement. Judgement is the opposite of acceptance and when I am living in judgement I am not accepting what is. This year I want to allow myself the space to sometimes not be perfect. I snap at my partner when I don't want to, I forget stuff, I lock my keys in my car and I am not infallible. To stop beating myself up would be the greatest gift to give myself because it would allow me the opportunity to take risks without fear of failure.

I don't know if others can relate to these but certainly as I look inside myself these would be the pieces of my habits that do me the most harm. If you were to remove some habits from yourself of the next year, what would they be?